I finally made it to the final day of London fashion Week in one piece. But little did I know how much party hopping I was going to do in one evening.

I started my night on Thursday evening in the fourth row at Vivienne Westwood’s fashion show – rumoured to be one of her last. Guests enjoyed the ‘Disaronno Amaretto Originale’ and ‘Disaronno Amaretto Glamour’ cocktails at the bar before the show.

I was lucky enough to be sat right behind Kate Moss’s ex Jefferson Hack and his girlfriend Anouck Lepere. Just a few seats away sat Lily Allen, Kelly Osbourne and Kimberly Stewart. Eccentric fashionista Phillip Salon – who was dressed as a pirate -caused his usual stink by blasting door staff when they wouldn’t let him in saying: “Darling, the Jews don’t queue.” Oh dear!

I managed to catch up with lovely model Jodie Kidd who said she was ecstatic to be out at a show and “out of her cage” after months in hiding following tabloid revelations of her being a drug fixer. Trust me, she’s the nicest girl despite what you may have read and didn’t deserve all that crap in the press! She was with her sister Jemma and Lady Victoria Hervey.

The drinks flowed for all the guests that also included David Walliams, model Erin O’Connor, the Telegraph’s Hilary Alexander who was hobbling around with a walking a stick and pop singer Anastacia.

There was no show on the runway of Kate Moss – who was rumoured to have been walking the catwalk – but Jaime Winston and Alice Dellal.

After the show I went to Nobu to hook up with Perez. After slipping a couple of vodkas down our necks we headed over to the exclusive Mulberry party to celebrate the Hadley Freeman book launch at the store on New Bond Street. It was rammed – but we skipped the longest queue thanks to fabulous Violet VW at Mulberry.

The party was great with hot band of the moment Hot Chip performing and Mylo DJ-ing. We drank gin cocktails served by scantily clad Muscle Marys and mingled the room where we saw Adele, her make-up and hair stylist Michael and Jodie Harsh. The four of us decided to make it a night to remember.

The Geldof girls, Fifi Brown, Kim Stewart, Erin O’Connor and Alexa Chung were also there working that room.

The more I drank the more I stupidly started to think I may have a career as a music producer. I was trying to persuade Adele to cut a house remix of her No.1 song Chasing Pavements. We spent the rest of the night singing the house version together big time! She has a cracking voice! Jodie hilariously said he wanted to record a song called Mangina…..! I’m not sure if that would be a success!

After the brilliant Mulberry bash we headed off to the Vivienne Westwood after show at Dolce. It was Ok – but packed full of liggers without anyone interesting to be honest. We hung with Jaime Winstone and her stylist friend Karen Clarkson for a bit – she touched tongues as a greeting with Jodie Harsh. Hilarious!

Adele was carrying a pair of ballet pumps from Holland and Barrett around with her. She told me they are what she’s going to wear for the Brit Awards on Wednesday! She made me laugh when she said: “I was offered lobontoons or whatever they are called. But I wanted these.” Me, Perez, Michael and Jodie fell about laughing at her cock up. She meant to say Loubatins! As in the uber expensive heels!

From there we went off to ‘work’ with Jodes. She was appearing at a club called The End near the West End. We hung out there for about an hour before moving again to Bungalow 8. It’s very trendy in there – and it’s never ever full. We were bought a free round of vodka shots by the manager which was jolly nice and at about 2am we were joined by Pixie Geldof. The poor thing was a little wasted bless her!

Also there was E4 TV presenter Nick Grimshaw (who everyone calls Grimmy) and the guy who played Craig in Hollyoaks. We have no idea why he was there! Him and Pixie were getting on well – very well in fact.

I eventually crawled into bed at 4am after an obscene five nights out on the trot. It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it!

I’m the first to admit that personally I couldn’t give a flying toss about the likes of Kerry Katona. But she does have a sweet little heart underneath her tough exterior and she’s looking, er, swell at six months pregnant with her fourth child.

The former Atomic Kitten singer Kerry and hubby Mark Croft were at posh London venue The Hospital in Covent Garden for the launch of their new reality show Kerry Katona: Crazy In Love that goes out for the first time this Sunday on MTV One at 10pm.

A few observations – Mark had got himself a spray tan before arriving there and looking like a traffic cone he was so orange.

Kerry, who gobbled chips with mayo constantly as she spoke to me, could barely breathe as she was so out of breath and wheezy.

Amazingly Kerry’s put on FOUR stone so far in this pregnancy and she has three months to go – scary.

I wish her all the best and look forward to seeing her fitness video within three months of the birth.

I met up with my friend Perez Hilton of blogging fame and we grabbed a taxi to the next venue for a store launch on Regent Street. I won’t mention the brand because they were twits and didn’t invite me…..so I got myself in to spite them.

We met up with Kelly Osbourne on the street outside the venue with some of her buddies and went into the shop where Kel was DJ-ing and Mark Ronson was performing live.
Had a lovely chat with Sophie Ellis Bextor and her hubby Richard Jones from the Feeling. They talked ‘music’ with Perez for a bit. Sophie and Perez LOVE Adele.

On our way out we got caught up in a load of commotion because the silly bouncers had shut off the escalator route out – so we found ourselves stuck in an over crowded lift that wouldn’t move. We were next to the lovely Peaches Geldof. Everyone was yelling for somebody to get out – we stood our ground as me and Perez were there before Geldof. Annoyingly she wasn’t budging anywhere…..so we gave in and got the hell out. Peaches, you owe me Missy!
When the lift finally returned it was jam packed and Kimberly Stewart stormed out wanting to get a view of Ronson performing. Loving her short hair nowadays. Also there were Lady Victoria Hervey, Hannah Sandling and Drag Queen Jodie Harsh!

Tonight will be my fifth night on the trot party hopping. I’m doing Vivienne Westwood’s show – where Kate Moss will walk the runway for the first time in five years – and the exclusive Mulberry event.

I kid you not – I will be a recluse for the weekend. Friends of mine should be warned now not to text or call. I won’t be replying until rested and refreshed. No matter who it is!

My evening began heading off to the Serpentine Gallery in Hyde Park for the launch of Dame Vivienne Westwood’s new Opus book. Only 900 or so copies have been printed of this fabulous fashion book featuring stars including Kate Moss, Rosamund Pike and Naomi Campbell. The actual book is about four feet tall and three feet wide and weighs a tonne.

The champagne flowed as I spoke to Henry Conway (the politician’s son) who wore a knitted mink scarf……PETA will be thrilled.

I also caught up with the fabulous model Olivia Inge – who showed off a larger than usual cleavage thanks to her push up bra, Tyrone and Leah Wood, Piers Morgan, Scott Henshall, Lady Victoria Hervey, Skin from Skunk Anansie (who wore a ridiculous orange wig style hat) and the gorgeous model Erin O’Connor.

But the real highlight was meeting the Dame herself and doing a picture – she rocks and still pushes so many buttons in the fashion world. She told me the book was one of her achievements she’s most proud of….
The party was actually quite bonkers, with dogs, toddlers and crazy haired people running about the venue. Viv also had her mother along to party with her – she sat in a red tracksuit in a roped off VIP area. She must be at least 90 years old!

From the Serpentine I chose to give it a go popping into the Rambo film premiere in the hope of getting a picture with Sly Stallone. He walked in with Topshop boss Phillip Green at the Rex Cinema and Bar off of Leicester Square. I was primed with a photographer and ready.

First observation – his face is so pumped full of filler he looks like a talking jam donut when he speaks. Weird. Other guests there included Gemma Atkinson and Marcus Bent, Danielle Lloyd, Matthew Marsden (yes, really him from Corrie. He stars in the film) and Danny Cipriani.

Sly’s US publicist scowled at me she would “deal with the press later”. Sly was literally inches away from me. I decided I don’t do waiting – especially not when the PR looking after the ‘talent’ is a complete twerp – so I left for the next party as there were bigger fish to fry at the Elle Style Awards.

Elle was the usual barrel of laughs. I arrived after the awards that saw the likes of Kylie Minogue (who won Woman of the Year), Keira Knightley and Kate Hudson turn up to pick up their awards. Hilariously the awards were this year held at The Westway leisure centre in Notting Hill. Stupid venue – imagine all the big stars arriving to find out they were having dinner on a netball court with a rug on the floor.
Also it took over an hour for anyone to get a cab out of that place…..horrific.

I hung with Heidi Range from Sugababes and her bearded boy toy Dave Berry. Heidi told me she’s looking forward to recording another new album with the band – they are near to signing a new deal…..and that she’s unfortunately missing the Brit Awards next week because the girls are in Paris. She will hit some after parties though!
Also on the table was Emma Griffith, Holly Willoughby (who looks far more plain Jane in real life than she does on the telly) and Dermot O’Leary.
At one point Dermot made me a vodka coke and brought it round to me by doing a really camp pirouette! He’s a funny one.

The night was all about new designer Henry Holland and new model of the moment Agyness Deyn. She looked so shit hot with her pink jacket and pink sunglasses. She’s just so out there!

Geri Halliwell might not be so happy to hear that her “man of the moment” David Walliams was overheard talking to a group of young guys saying: “Anyone seen any fit girls?” He’s clearly not quite ready to settle down…..

Kelly Brook looked stunning making her first appearance since her father died and revealed she’s just been on holiday with her mother to refresh and relax. Good for her.

All the real gossip will be revealed in next week’s column!

Shortly before Heath Ledger died on January 21 it was rumoured that he was dating Aussie model Gemma Ward. Well my mole in New York tells me the pair WERE in fact dating at the time of his death and she’s currently mortified by the entire thing and keeping a low profile. My source tells me: “Heath was seeing Gemma and although it was early days things were going well and he was really into her. She saw a future with Heath and they’d kept their fling so private. So she’s understandbly broken and in pieces.”

The Joker actor was believed to have been dating bush baby lookalike, Mary Kate Olsen, but it seems that was a load of tosh!!!

Another fabulous party took place last night – this time for clothes label PPQ, hosted by Amy Molyneaux and Percy Parker. It was held at the luxurious Fiat Studio on Wigmore Street.

Earlier in the day Lily Allen and Sophie Ellis Bextor had attended the runway show….

For the evening I arrived with my friend Emily Lobel from legendary fashion house Hardy Amies who wore a long haired goat shawl. Get her.

The bash was jam packed full of fun people including the number one singing sensation Adele who is totally fun. I never realised she was from London and had such a funny cockney accent. She barked with a cheeky smile: “I’m from Tottenham and Brixton aren’t I?” You certainly are my love.
She said she couldn’t wait to perform at the Brit Awards next week with Mark Ronson. It’s rumoured Amy Winehouse will join them both on stage. Adele told me: “There are three of us performing with Mark but I’m not sure who yet because he ain’t told me.”
Later in the night Adele was chasing me around pinching my arse. She’s a cheeky one!

Also at the bash and causing a stir was Razorlight singer Johnny Borrell who was randomly talking to Emma Watson of Harry Potter fame. They looked kinda close – they couldn’t be a couple could they???? They definitely looked like they were very good ‘friends’. It will be Johnny’s first girlfriend since Kirsten Dunst. They actually looked kinda cute together.
Also there were the Geldof sisters Peaches and Pixie . Peaches is looking hotter than hot and very slim. I still think he’s going to end up being some sort of fashion icon. Like our British version of Nicole Richie!

Other people I spied…..Will Young (with camp guy in tow following him around the venue), Dakota Fanning, Isaac Ferry, Mica Paris, the charming Lisa Voice, Sting’s daughter Kate Sumner, model Daisy Lowe and actor Cuba Gooding Jnr, Jackson Scott and his fabulous looking girlfriend Ben Grimes and the new indie band of the moment, The Vibrants.

I guzzled as much free champers and Chambord that I possibly could before heading home – others went on to party into the night at Dolce club. That wasn’t for me – I needed my beauty sleep before tonight’s Elle Style Awards! Rock on!

Finally an event packed full of real stars! Not a BB moron in sight. Hoorah!

The Orange British Academy Film Awards managed to hook stars in from all over the world and I was lucky enough to be there.

I’ll start with a couple of funny run ins on the red carpet. Jurassic Park star Jeff Goldblum arrived with Kevin Spacey. Kev, who’s currently appearing in a play with Jeff at the Old Vic, was in an annoying sarky mood. When asked whether he preffered LA awards shows or London events he barked: “I don’t do comparisons.” Well honey, I don’t do red carpet divas.

Jeff on the plus side was nice – although a tad creepy. As Kevin was being interviewed he stared intently at me and mouthed “nice hair”  in the creepiest of manners. Eeeeeew. I complimented him on his shades so not to be rude.

Other highlights on the carpet included Kate Hudson telling me she’s not giving Matthew McConaughey advice on his impending fatherhood and saying she took just one hour to prepare and dress for the carpet. In fact one of my friends saw her an hour before the red carpet at the Dorchester Hotel walking around in sweat pants. So she wasn’t lying!

Keira Knightley was amazingly sweet and talked openly about what she’d got up to before the red carpet. “It took me two hours to get ready and I was gobbling chips and drinking champagne,” she said. I don’t want to point out the obvious – but I never thought chips and Keira would be friends. Her boy toy Rupert Friend was there and stood eviling the press while she happily worked the carpet. He needs to get a life and smile.

Devil Wears Prada star Emily Blunt looked stunning in a turquoise skin tight frock – she revealed her secret to keeping so fit and healthy – she’s been doing some extra special work outs and you can read all about that in the column next week!

Other stars who rocked my world included Daniel Radcliffe (who’s literally three foot tall), Daniel Day Lewis (who didn’t stop for nobody on the carpet), Jessica Biel (who looks like a freak with these weird blonde locks of hers), Tilda Swinton (who wore Gaultier couture and for me looked sensational but obviously weird) and Sienna Miller and boyfriend Rhys Ifans.

After the awards I popped off to the official E! Entertainment bash at the Grosvenor House Hotel. It wasn’t the hottest celeb list – just because stars seemed to slope off to other bashes like the Weinstein party at Bungalow 8. But they still had Matt Willis and Emma Griffiths, Cuba Gooding Jnr, Naomie Harris and a few people! Orlando Bloom and James McAvoy almost popped in but opted for early nights in the end instead!

Quote of the evening goes to This Morning’s larger than life showbiz reporter Alison Hammond. She said seconds before the red carpet stars arrived: “Oh shit, my knickers are falling down. What do I do?” Erm, hoof them up love!

P.S. Another highlight of the evening was having a pee next to Harvey Keitel. Oh the glamour.

I’ve always wanted to have my picture taken looking elegantly stunning and like a true star in black and white. And I’ve just found a way of achieving this thanks to the team over at DKNY.

The exclusive fashion label has just launched this fantastic DKNY photo booth in association with Mark Van S at London’s Selfridges store. It’s quite simple – you go to the second floor womenswear, stand in front of the exquisite lighting booth and snap away to your little heart’s content.

You can do solo shots and milk the glamorous look for all its worth (like I did) or you can do it with a friend. It’s so much better than going inside one of those God awful photo booths which often smell of dirty tramps!

But the booth not only gives you the most flattering effect possible – you also help raise money for charity too. DKNY are asking of just £1 upwards – with all proceeds going to the British Red Cross – to use the booth and for that you get your picture to take home as well as being beamed into the legendary window of Selfridges on Oxford Street itself. I’m actualy being beamed into the window as we speak.

So get yourself down there pronto and you too can look like a superstar….

P.S. Thanks to my Booth Bitch Georgia from Purple for guiding me into looking as uber cool as I look! It’s all down to you schweedie!

The thing about ‘celebrity’ parties nowadays is you have to assess who is a celebrity and who isn’t. And last night was a little lacking for me.

It is my belief that a celebrity has to have some sort of talent. I don’t care about the girl next door, the WAGs or the Big Brother reject. Don’t get me wrong, good on them for managing to become a name for no reason. But I need more than that.

So the evening began…..

I started my night at the mobile phone company Nokia store launch on Regent Street. It was full of some interesting characters. Patrick Wolf wore a stuffed blackbird on his head and walked around trying to grab attention, drag Queen Jodie Harsh was on the wagon and being particularly well behaved (for once), Lisa Moorish sat near the back and didn’t mingle much, Dizzee Rascal and Jaime Winstone posed up for snaps and TV presenters Hannah Sandling and Jenni Falconer gossiped about dresses for the BAFTAS. GMTV’s Jenni says she’s just “throwing something on last minute”.

From there I headed out to the Perfume Shop Celebrity Nose of the Year award held at upper class curry house Mint Leaf. This was the bash I had trouble distinguishing the celebrities at.

Stefan Booth from Dancing on Ice was fidgety after leaving his pregnant – and overdue – wife Debbie at home…..he will become a dad any day now.

BB nobody Nikki Grahame (who, I hear you cry) continually wanted attention and kept doing her laborious stropping to get attention. Looooooser. Aisleyne (another nobody) was posing for snaps with autograph hunters like she was Cameron Diaz. Oh dear. Then there was those twins Samanda – who are very pretty but what the hell do they do?

The only Big Brother person that I do actually find amusing is Chantelle Houghton. She just doesn’t give a toss and is relishing in her new glamour girl getup. I asked her what she was up to nowadays work wise. She replied giggling: “All I do is model and party. I love waking up on a Sunday feeling dead. It’s great to be hungover. I was trying to go classy when I was with Preston – but now I’m being the real me.” Hysterical.

Her new boobs are literally like bowling balls – but she’s strangely lovable. She also had a go at Jordan which made me laugh considering she’s morphing into Jordie in the early days. She said: “Jordan needs to stop slagging all us models off with big boobs – she’s had hers reduced but hers are still bigger than mine. And saggier.”

The only real ‘names’ there were Strictly star Alesha Dixon and Corries Tina O’Brien -who walked away with the gong for best nose. I’m sure that’s a career highlight for Tina…..

They should have called the awards the Celebrity Nose Bag of the Year and invited all the celebs that have been exposed doing coke and crack this year! How out of control would that have been!

Other people at the bash included DJ Tom Crane, Andy Scott-Lee, Melanie Slade, Caroline Feraday, Nate James, and Kim Mazelle.

From there I caught a lift with Stefan Booth and went to Raffles on the Kings Road where I was swinging on the rafters until late! Needless to say, the head feels fuzzy today.